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Sunday, April 15, 2001
"the death and taxes special"
Passage: "So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?" I Corinthians 15:54-55
Someone once said that the only two things that can be counted on in life are death and taxes. I wholeheartedly agree as far as taxes are concerned, but I don't really agree as far as death is concerned. Now, I'm not disillusioned; I don't think that we don't die. I just don't think that death is what a lot of people believe that it is. Read on, and you'll see why.
First, the taxes. As we all know, tomorrow is the big day! I attempted to figure mine out. You'd think that a college student who made a pittance compared to practically anyone in the real world would not have a hard time filling out his tax returns. You couldn't be further from the truth.
I had to start by filling out a 1040 (and some schedules thereunto appertaining), because of a couple of forms that I got from school and my place of employment from my summer internship. I should have known that that would be a bad sign.
A couple of hours later, I found myself staring at a number that, frankly, scares me. I do not get a refund. I do not even come close to one. The solution? Let my family's accountant worry about it, because I'm sure that I probably messed up somewhere along the line. I'll try again next year, when I should just get W-2s and nothing else...
Now I can see why everyone hates taxes so.
However, death is another story. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that death is not a part of our lives. What I'm saying is that death doesn't have to hold the pull over us that it does for most.
As a child, I was really afraid of death. Like most people, I didn't like the idea of death at all. And I still don't like the idea of the physical dying...but that's very different from death as a whole. Why?
I Corinthians 15:54-55 provides the answer. Death is not a final act, as I once thought. It is a transition from mortality to immortality, from imperfection to being made perfect in Christ. And why is that?
Because, almost 2000 years ago, there was one who was perfect. He committed no sin, but He died for our sins. Then He did the unthinkable: He showed that death had no power over Him! He arose from the grave, and He lives, even today! He was the one that took the sting from death and victory from the grave. He suffered in death so that when that time comes for us (if the Rapture doesn't occur first), we don't have to worry about death! It's not the end. It's the beginning!
Today is Resurrection Sunday. Christians all over the world are celebrating Jesus' victory over death and the fact that because of Him, we have victory as well!
Wednesday, April 4, 2001
all the not-as-funny people were watching
Did you ever watch that old program America's Funniest People? While watching it, did you ever wonder if our nation was really that lacking for humor?
pick your poison
I wonder how back in the old days people found out which mushrooms were good and which were poisonous. I bet "mushroom tester" was not a good job title back in those times.
Monday, April 2, 2001
annoying driver profile #1
I don't have these written down or anything, but I'm pretty sure that there are multiple habits that other drivers on the road have that I can't stand. (In other words, this could develop into a recurring theme.) Here is the first installment.
Have you ever seen a State Trooper or some other cop on the road and slowed down? I don't; I'm driving the speed limit. Now, this is not intended to put down those who speed. I've accepted this as a fact of life, even if I don't do it myself. No, my ire here is reserved for a special brand of speeder.
I, of course, am referring to the speeder who, when he/she sees the aforementioned cop car, slows down to 10 miles an hour below the limit.
Have you ever been stuck behind one of these people? Do they not realize that they are perfectly within their right to drive the speed limit, even if it means passing the cop?
I wonder what's going through the mind of someone who does this. "Hey! If I drive really slowly by the cop, maybe he'll think I'm a really safe driver! Maybe he's giving out rewards to anyone who goes under the speed limit! Maybe he'll even pull me over and take away that ticket that I got in '92, cause this evens it out!"
Actually, this would be an interesting scene to me:
Driver: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: (No-nonsense voice) License and registration, please.
Driver: Sure.
(Officer takes both and walks back to his car.)
Driver (pleading to himself) C'mon, please, please...
(Officer walks back to driver's car.)
Officer: Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: Because...I was driving under the speed limit?
Officer: That's correct. Do you know how slow you were going?
Driver: Maybe... (grimaces) 65?
Officer: Try 60 in a 70.
Driver: (Elated) Really?
Officer: (Now smiling) Yessir...you know what this means, don't you?
Driver: I sure do!
Officer: You had 4 previous speeding tickets at $75 a piece. Here's a check from the government for $324.
Driver: (In awe) Interest too?
Officer: That's right. (Tips hat) Now you have a good day.
Driver: Thanks, officer! I will!
No...this scene will never happen. Instead, whoever this person is will mosey by the cop, forcing me to slow down too. They'll wait till the cop is out of view, and then speed back up to whatever they were doing before.
And I'll inwardly caterwaul.