January 2003 archives
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Sunday, January 12, 2003
"my answer would be yes"
I hadn't written anything about this yet because I didn't really know what to say. I'd never had to approach the topic before. So I'll just go straight from the heart, and hope the details are remembered correctly.
Wednesday, after class, I spent the afternoon finding a florist. I needed daisies; I knew that they were her favorite. The rest of the time before choir was spent in anxious anticipation of seeing her and trying to figure out what I was going to say to her. Those daisies in the refrigerator served as a reminder that I couldn't turn back. Of course, I didn't want to.
I remember asking her if I could talk with her after choir. This was normal procedure after choir anyway, so she told me okay, and now I had my opportunity.
After choir, we milled around a little bit, talking with a mutual friend. Normally, I enjoy talking to all of my friends down here, but I was just waiting for the end of the conversation so that I could gather up all of my nerves. At one point, the two asked to see the truck, seeing as they'd only seen me in the Blazer before. Before I could remember that I had something in the truck that was not something I wanted to show to both of them, I'd said, "Sure," and all three of us had headed over towards the S-10. About ten feet from it, I realized what I'd done, and proceeded to add the modifier "awkward" to what was already a nerve-wracking situation. I'll give the friend credit, though; she picked up pretty quickly. Both walked over to the friend's car. If they said anything to each other, I don't know what it was.
Finally, the moment of truth had arrived. I called her over to my truck, realizing as I did so that I still didn't know how I was going to ask her. I remember picking up the flowers from the seat and handing them to her, and her exclaiming, "Daisies!" She took the white-petaled mini-bouquet and looked at me, knowing full well what was coming next. Was that a hint of a smile on her face? It was hard to tell; the shadows concealed too much for me to know anything for sure, and I wouldn't have admitted it if I had seen it for sure.
I really don't remember a lot of what I said; it was very stream-of-consciousness. I know that I remember saying that she had been an inspiration to me. Whatever I said, it apparently got the point across. She asked me a couple of questions about what my intentions were, and then she said five words that I will never forget.
"My answer would be yes."
In my wildest dreams, I had not planned on hearing that last word. And at that point, something changed in me. I can't give you a feeling to compare it to. All the insecurities that I had harbored about myself for such a long time fell away, replaced by new feelings of equal parts joy and excitement, with a big dose of nervous energy on top. It was the most wonderful feeling that I've felt in years.
There was a lot more to talk about that night, obviously. If my heart was beating fast before, it was going double-time now, because I had absolutely no idea how to proceed. We decided to go to Steak and Shake to talk, because I hadn't eaten since lunch and it was now close to 10:00. We talked for four hours that night. It seemed like time stopped for us and yet passed so quickly. I'm sure that I still wasn't making a lot of sense at the time, and I remember that I was still so nervous that I didn't finish my meal, even though I was practically starving.
Since then we have spent a lot of time together, obviously, and to say that I enjoy being with her is the early front-runner for the understatement of the year.
This week, I've been back to class, and already received a project in one of my classes and taken two pre-tests. I've been sick with sinus problems. I'm currently going on two hours of sleep, and have had problems sleeping since I've been sick. On the plus side, I've joined our church's praise team and been published in a daily e-mail list that subsequently gave my little site the biggest day hitwise in its seven-year history.
But this week will be remembered always for the cold Wednesday January night, and the five little words that were said to me as I was sitting in the passenger seat of my truck, looking unbelievingly at the lady speaking them: "my answer would be yes."
Friday, January 10, 2003
just FYI
Mountainwings, a daily inspirational e-mail/web column, features the musings of a certain person today...
Monday, January 6, 2003
semester two, day one
And so my second semester at UF starts. It's nice to see all of my friends down here again, but of course there are courses to deal with as well.
So far, I've gone to two of my courses, and I'll go to the other two tomorrow for the first time. I have a really balanced schedule - the same two periods every day but Tuesday, which has those same two plus a couple more. So my worst day will be Tuesay again, but it'll only be four hours. Much better than last semester's six-hour Tuesday.
One of my classes looks like it will involve a lot of coding. We get our first assignment on the 10th of this month. When asked about how much code would be involved in the final project, the professor couldn't say exactly, but put his ballpark guess at 4,000 or 5,000 lines of code. Which amounts to twice the size of the second project that I did in OS. Of course, I only had three weeks to do that, so it doesn't look like that much by comparison.
The other class that I went to today will use three tests to determine the final grade. You can't imagine what the thought of a class with no projects makes me do inside. Already, I'm a leg up on last semester as far as time constraints go.
Academically, my springs have almost always been easier than my fall semesters. I'm not sure if that's because of the fact that classes tend to be easier, or just that I don't have college football to distract me on the weekends, but whatever works.
In other news, I've been semi-recruited to sing with the praise team on Sunday at my church down here. We'll see how that goes, I guess. I practiced with them for the first time last night.
Driving the truck is going well, for the most part. I didn't have to drive it today, but I was on the road a lot going to and from church yesterday. Thankfully, I didn't ever stall out, but my friend Mike said that it was kind of funny to watch me starting off from the line - I still tend to lurch a lot. But it's becoming easier each time I do it - I even let myself listen to music while I'm driving in the city now.
The living room looks a lot larger now that the Christmas tree is packed away for another year. Because of that, it looks a lot barer, too. It's not sterile or anything, but it could stand a few more things on the walls. The two small Jack Deloney prints that I received as a Christmas gift from my grandmother have already found their way onto my "dining room" wall - I quote that only because it's not really a room so much as a section of my apartment's living room. They fit in well with the table and chairs that I have there. My walls are still pretty bare, though, I must admit. I've got multiple prints that I need to frame, including a couple more Jack Deloneys. I didn't realize that framing was that expensive. Maybe I need to consider a side business once I start my teaching career.
Saturday, January 4, 2003
looking back and shaking my head
Going through the four boxes of stuff that I brought back to my apartment with me (and promptly throwing the majority of it away), I came upon something that piqued my curiosity: The Journal Of Brandon German. Was I describing possession of the journal using Spanish form, or just attempting to make the title evoke thoughts of Anne Frank? I didn't stop to ponder; instead, I opened the light blue folder that contained the thoughts of a tenth-grade boy.
Oh, man. You want to talk about bad writing? This was "Wince and shake your head" bad. This was "Saved By The Bell plotline and dialogue" bad. This was "How in the world did I graduate high school?" bad. Reading the journal, laughing at the sheer inadequacy of it all, a thought struck me: was I the epitome of male teen angst, or what?
I'd give you a sample of this, ahem, literary work, but 1) I wouldn't be able to find anything in it that wouldn't embarrass me entirely, and 2) I've already thrown it away. It did make for some pretty funny reading for me for about 20 minutes, though.
Friday, January 3, 2003
the Christmas break recap
I'm back in Gainesville, with the first post of the new year! I hope that all of you had a wonderful Christmas, and that the new year has started out well.
My break has been great. I've gotten some much-needed downtime, and that's always a plus. And I was able to see a lot of friends that I hadn't seen in a while. I drove up to Birmingham and saw Ricky and Tammy for a couple of days. I went to church with them on Sunday. Ricky sat with me so I wouldn't be all by myself among a couple of thousand (Dawson Memorial Baptist Church is not exactly your small church) while Tammy sang in the choir. It was kind of funny when at the end of the service, a lady sitting in the pew in front of us turned around and said, "I just enjoyed your singing so much; you two should be in choir!" Ricky should have told her about 1122 Productions' duet career.
I also got to see my friends Chad and Karen one night; we saw The Two Towers. All of us had already seen it, but we wanted to take it in again. We also cajoled Chad into going bowling. I promptly rolled the worst two games I've bowled in a while. I'll mark it up to not having my shoes and my left-handed ball...yeah, that's it. I had hoped to see my friend Amanda some over the break, but I wasn't able to get in touch with her other than seeing her at church once. So if you read this, Amanda, e-mail me!
I got to play golf for the first time since May, and found that not only does absence make the heart grow fonder, it also makes the golf swing better. I played better than I ever have before. I even made my first-ever birdie! I've updated my golf page accordingly.
Alas, not all was well. My car was sicker than we had originally anticipated, so my parents told me to leave it in Ozark with them. This left me in a tough position; the only other car available was our S-10 pickup. This wouldn't be bad normally, but it's a stick shift. We all remember our previous encounter with a stick shift, don't we? No time like the present to learn again, right? So what did I promptly do? Just used it to drive all the way up to Birmingham when I went to see Ricky and Tammy. I hadn't realized just how hilly Birmingham is, but being in a stick shift will make you learn a lot of things really quickly. I wonder if they've managed to scrape all that rubber I left off of that one hill yet. I told my mom that going through one area that included lots of traffic lights back-to-back, I was praying to God for "green lights, good starts, or nice people". But now I've driven it exclusively for almost a week now, and I have to say that I'm getting pretty used to it. And a good thing too, seeing as it's going to be my mode of transportation for a while.
But now I'm back. This afternoon has been mainly spent taking down all the Christmas decorations (always kinda sad in a way), unpacking all of the boxes of stuff that my sister and brother-in-law were holding for me at their house, and making a grocery run because I had next-to-nothing in the apartment that was edible. I'm trying to wash all of the clothing that was in those boxes too...it's like getting a completely new wardrobe!
The break's been great. Now I'm ready to jump back into the swing of things again and see the friends that I've made down here. I just hope that they aren't all too mad about the Outback Bowl fiasco. :)