the runner
marathon
to a different drummer
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears the beat of a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away." -- Thoreau
As far back as I can remember, that quote has been in my life. I had it on my wall as a youth, stitched in blue yarn, accompanied by three drums.
I used it as my senior quote in high school. I always felt different in some way growing up...hopefully not putting words in my sister's mouth, I'll bet she did too. The difference between us back then was that she liked the fact that she didn't fit the mold. I didn't.
But college is a wonderful thing, and in the six years that I was at the University of Alabama I learned a lot about who I am and that I'm better off different.
I once wrote that you couldn't pick me out of a crowd based on what I look like, and that still holds true. Average height (maybe a little shorter than the norm), average weight, brown hair. But I'm different based on a lot of other things.
First and foremost, I am a Christian. Jesus Christ died for me...the least I can do is live for Him. I'm not ashamed of my faith, or the morals that result from it.
I am one of a set of twins. I love my sister. I don't get to see her very often now, because she lives 12 hours away from me. And before you ask, yes, we do have telepathic powers and can sense when the other one is in danger. :)
I have a peculiar form of ambidexterity. Pretty much everything that I have been taught by someone else I do right-handed, but everything that I have taught myself I do left-handed, or left-footed, in the case of kicking.
(According to statistics, twins occur once in every 90 births, and one in every 10 is left-handed, so I'm at least one in 900 now.)
I am a geek. I have no problem admitting that. I used to. Then I learned that there's nothing wrong with being a geek. I have lots of geeky friends now. I have some who aren't geeks either, but who love me anyway.
I could go on, but the fact of the matter is I march to the beat of a different drummer. I'm finally coming to terms with that, and letting myself fall in step with the music I hear.
details
What do I want to do with my life? Great question. I thought that I had it figured out in high school. I thought that I had it figured out as an undergraduate. I thought that I had it figured out as a first-year business school student.
I don't have it figured out.
There are certain things that I know that I want to do, but that doesn't equate to what I want to do with my life. For instance, one of these days I want to own my own house. But that's just one detail in my life.
I want to have a great job. But doing what? (Preferably something involving computers, but what specifically?) Where? (Preferably the southeast, but what city?) For whom? (Myself? Some huge conglomerate? Something in between?) Even the details of my future require minutiae.
I want to meet someone. I want to fall in love with her, truly, fully, and completely; I want to marry her and every day try to the best of my abilities to love her as Christ loves. But that's not something that one can plan or work into a schedule. It hasn't happened to me thus far, and there's still a lot that I have to learn about love.
I still have a lot of details to work out. I haven't got everything figured out, and I don't expect to anytime soon. Life is much more complicated than anyone expects when they really start to live.
More to come.