(03-16-10) I think dear U.S. Census Bureau, It is 2010, not 1910. Let us fill the form out online. That is all.
(10-29-08) I think it's truly amazing how much time, energy, and money are wasted on politics in this country.
(12-19-05) I think I was going to say that Bush had lost my vote by preempting Family Guy last night for a Presidential address that didn't really seem necessary, but he can't run again anyway, so I guess I'll just say that I'm mad.
(09-01-05) I think I have some insider information...according to a bus boy at the Cracker Barrel in Shelbyville, Kentucky, gas will be $5 a gallon in a few weeks. He knows because his friend's aunt's sister-in-law's friend owns a gas station.
(09-01-05) I think I'm waiting for John Kerry to announce that he is against hurricanes and would not have allowed Katrina to hit the US.
(01-20-05) I think you've got to love a country where so many people have nothing better to do than protest at a presidential inauguration. But I just can't see myself ever telling my boss, "I need to use a couple of vacation days next week...I'm heading over to D.C. to chant and hold signs up..."
(12-16-04) I think if the government is broke and they are worried about not having enough money for Social Security, why don't they just print more money?
(11-03-04) I think a very small part of me is going to miss having Kerry around to make fun of...
(10-20-04) I think if John Kerry had been in power in the 1700s, we'd still be under British rule, waiting for all the countries of the world to give us the OK to declare independence.
(10-20-04) I think it'd be really funny to sneak out in the middle of the night and switch all the Bush and Kerry yard signs in my neighborhood, then just be casually walking around the next morning to see what happens.
(10-14-04) I think I am now officially completely and utterly sick of politics and this election season. Can we please just get this thing over with?
(10-08-04) I think that Bush will win the popular vote, but I am not as certain about the electoral votes. Wouldn't that be ironic if he got more votes but lost? I know Gore would be laughing... Just for the record, I want to go ahead and repeat what I said four years ago...win or lose, the fact that the electoral college is still used is beyond ridiculous.
(10-05-04) I think that if Bush ends up losing the election because he made faces during the debate, this country has serious problems. I mean, doesn't everyone make annoyed faces anytime Kerry is talking?
(09-05-04) I think I'd just like to go ahead and make it clear that I do not care one bit about George Bush's National Guard duty or non-duty, nor do I care one bit about John Kerry's Vietnam War record or non-record. I also think that any person that would base their vote on either of these "issues" should not be allowed to vote.
(08-19-04) I think it's only a matter of days until we see the headline "Kerry Criticizes Bush's Choice of Necktie", followed by a thorough explanation of how Bush's across-the board tax cuts of all tax brackets only benefited the wealthy.
(08-05-04) I think the only good thing about if Kerry becomes president will be that Disney's Hall of Presidents won't have any trouble making a robot face look like him.
(07-29-04) I think I miss Ross Perot. This campaign season isn't making me laugh very much.
(07-26-04) I think it's really odd to me that they let either of the Clintons, let alone both, speak at the Democratic National Convention. I thought they were trying to win an election in November...shouldn't they be trying distance themselves as much as possible from them?
(06-24-04) I think that if separation of church and state is a legitimate idea, then we should be pushing for separation of Hollywood and state. I'm sorry, Mrs. Streisand, but NO ONE gives a hoot about your political views.
(05-18-04) I think the Democrats are stupid if they think the American public is dumb enough to blame Bush for the high gas prices. Seriously, guys, find something real to campaign on...
(04-06-04) I think Tammy's on the verge of being in big trouble. She hung the toilet paper under-handed, where you're pulling from the bottom. Did we lose a war? What's next, we're going to start using the metric system at our house?
(02-26-04) I think I'm really excited that Congress isn't wasting time on things like terrorism, education, and budget deficits, and is busy doing earth-shattering things like lifting the travel ban to Libya. I just hope all the flights aren't booked up...I've been wanting to go there for years.
(01-06-04) I think that now that Canada has given us the mad cow disease, we might as well go ahead and invade them...what are we waiting for?
(10-02-03) I think it might have been fun to sit on on the meeting where someone decided "Hey, everybody...we're working on the junction of I-20/59 & I-65, the busiest intersection in the state of Alabama...why don't we leave the old lane markings down after we put the new ones in, plus make the new ones crooked, to create a massive web of lane lines going all over the place and no one has a clue what lane they're in....just to see what happens?"
(09-10-03) I think I just got my second Canadian penny in as many weeks as change from Subway. Is it a coincidence? I think not... the exchange rate difference between an American penny and a Canadian penny might be negligible, but what if you multiply that tiny amount for all of the Subways across the country? As a whole, they're cheating us out of dollars! Clearly, after the invasion, we should eliminate the Canadian currency...
(08-15-03) I think I want to know why our power grid is tied into Canada's...that's not supposed to happen until after the war when we're occupying the country...
(08-11-03) I think I'd like to confirm the rumors and officially announce that I am in the running to be the next governor of California.
(08-03-03) I think that Gate C4 at an airport is not a good name for a gate.
(07-21-03) I think that in all this debate about whether ex-cons should get their voting rights back, no one has stopped to consider whether or not any ex-cons would actually vote.
(07-16-03) I think the FTC should launch an investigation into Cracker Jack's loose interpretation of the word "prize".
(05-20-03) I think I'm not saying that a lottery was a good idea, but at least then the government's only getting money from stupid people, rather than sucking me dry with more taxes.
(03-23-03) I think no one cares about our politicians' opinions about movies,TV shows, music, so why do people in Hollywood think we give a rip about their political views?
(03-22-03) I think all these people spending their time and money on these anti-war rallies should find something more constructive to do. Take just the gas money those tends of thousands of people spent to get to the rallies...think there's a charity somewhere that could use that money?
(01-30-03) I think it has been pointed out to me that I can now run for Congress, so be looking for an important announcement sometime soon...
(12-19-02) I think sometimes we don't give the US Postal Service enough credit. Tammy's grandfather mailed us a Christmas card with no house number and the wrong street name, and it got to us! In two days!
(12-07-02) I think the Bush administration should focus less on Iraq and work on some legistlation to get blue Christmas lights banned from people's yards. I'm not suggesting this; I'm demanding it.
(12-06-02) I think that since my campaign for governor of the great state of Alabama never got off the ground (stupid age requirements), I am now officially making myself available for the University of Alabama head coaching job. I am loyal, I don't even know what an Aggie is, and if you can convince all of the current assistants to stick around, I'll look like a good head coach.
(10-29-02) I think President Bush does not realize how many votes he lost by saying "War Eagle" last week while on a visit to Auburn.
(07-08-02) I think being "reimbursed" five cents a mile for jury duty is insulting. They might as well just not give us anything.
(07-08-02) I think, when you're on jury duty, and you see a guy and immediately think "He's guilty!" before you notice the "juror" button he's wearing, that's a bad thing.
(03-22-02) I think there is crime, there is high crime, and then there is the government's pillaging of my quarterly bonus paycheck.
(03-18-02) I think I'm still not sure what to think when I step on the scales at work and it says "error".
(03-16-02) I think Kent State doesn't really exist. They supposedly have 30,000 students...how come no one has ever heard of them before?
(02-26-02) I think it's amazing how the Feds can even make something like filing your taxes electronically complicated.
(02-18-02) I think it's uncanny how Tammy can usually predict our grocery store or Wal-Mart bill to within a couple of bucks, even when she makes the prediction before we leave the apartment.
(01-31-02) I think getting married has its advantages...I'm pretty sure Uncle Sam is paying for my new computer.
(08-23-01) I think Tammy and I are finally done (as far as I know, at least) with all of the paperwork involved in getting married.
(07-18-01) I think the IRS and Congress are a bunch of poo-poo heads because I'm not getting the tax rebate.
(05-10-01) I think the census is really the government's secret way of keeping count of all the people in the US.
(04-17-01) I think someone secretly programmed the thermostat in my apartment to always be either too hot or too cold, no matter how it's set.
(04-17-01) I think the morons who invented the metric system should have at least made everything equal to its normal measurement equivalent. It would be much easier on us if 1 km = 1 mile and 1 cm = 1 inch. They just wanted to be difficult...
(04-09-01) I think the Canadians are trying to take us over again. I found TWO Canadian pennies when I cleaned out the ashtray of my old car.