thoughts

mostly all alone

"So now everyone's evolving and I am just the same as I was ten years ago, but I don't know..." -- Can't Lose You, Caedmon's Call

It's Friday night.

Back in my hometown, my mom and dad are figuring out what they want to do. Maybe dad will win, and they'll watch the game tonight. Maybe mom will win, and they'll go out and go to Books-A-Million and get a frozen coffee.

The people that I grew up with, went to high school with, are spending time with their families. Celebrating getting through another week and earning another paycheck. Maybe going out to eat with their spouse or significant other.

In Birmingham, my best friend is going out with his fiancé. Maybe they're planning wedding details, or maybe they're just talking and telling each other about their respective days at work.

In Viera, Florida, my sister and brother-in-law might be riding their bikes around their town. Maybe they rented a DVD. Maybe someone came down and visited them, and they've gone out and done something. Maybe they're figuring out exactly what kind of house they're going to buy.

It's happening in places all around this state and around the nation.

It's Friday night.

And I'm here in my apartment.

Sometimes my life is well-summed up in that quote. I've often referred to "spinning my wheels" as far as life goes. It just seems to me that while other people are doing big important things, I'm just kind of here.

Other people have relationships. They have big decisions coming up in their lives. Even if they've moved past all of that, there's still the decision as to what they want for dinner tonight. But the decision is there, and it has to be agreed upon.

And I'm still where I am. Sometimes I wonder just how much I've changed in the past ten years or so.