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I had my pre-employment physical for ACIPCO the other day. Since this is a family web site (ha!), I won't go into the details. Let's just say I've been poked and prodded and tested in numerous ways. The good news is that I apparently passed both it and the drug test (I was really sweating that one...let me tell you!). So now I've peed in front of a guard twice...do I get a lolipop now?
The bad news is that I'm pretty sure sometime during the whole ordeal they managed to implant both a Company Loyalty Chip and a Global Positioning Locator Chip. They seem to work pretty well...the locator chip obviously works, because they somehow always manage to call when I'm home. I've been running errands all over the place the last week or two, and I don't think I've missed one of their calls yet. The loyalty chip must work because I was going to say something bad about all the red tape you have to go through to get a job there, and I started violently shaking from an electric shock. Who knows...maybe it was just a coincidence.