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With all of the criticism that the video game industry has come under lately because of supposedly being "too violent", I thought it would be nice for us to take a few minutes to consider the GOOD things video games have brought to us. Let's look at the important life-lessons we all learned from video games.
The game Asteroids taught us that asteroids not only fly in different directions on either side of you and warp around the universe as soon as they leave your view (obviously following the normal elliptical orbit, but somehow skipping about half of it that you can't see), but also change pretty colors when blown apart by your single bullet.
Super Mario Brothers and its sequels taught us that eating mushrooms makes you bigger, while eating certain special kinds makes you invincible.
Pac Man taught us how to overcome our enemies by taking a "special pill".
Pitfall taught us how to avoid those lakes that suddenly disappear and reappear, while Pitfall 2 showed us that being attacked by birds, stung by eels and scorpions, and falling from huge cliffs shouldn't stop us from reaching our goals in life...they are only minor setbacks accompanied by sad music.
Frogger revealed to us all the good things that can come about from running across a busy street, dodging cars and trucks.
Donkey Kong warned us to stay away from monkeys with tempers.
Space Invaders gave new insight to our planet's defense systems, like how dumb it is that aliens always attack in neat little rows that move side to side.
Ah, I'm scared to think about where we'd be without these life lessons...